Answer these questions in your journal before going further.

This is not a test nor will anyone see your answers.

• Are you a “giver”?
  • Write down all the ways you are a giver/doer (examples).
  • Write down how those ways makes you feel.
  • Who were some of the most influential givers in your life?
    
    
    
• Are you comfortable “receiving”?
  • If yes, how does it make you feel to receive?
  • If no, why is it hard for you to receive?
  • What has been your history with receiving love?

At some point in our lives, we just want to be held or for someone to be there for us when we require help.  For many, the time we spend with others has a significant impact on their lives.  The act of giving should be effortless and elicit positive feelings and emotions for both the giver and the receiver, making it one of the most important exchanges you can have with someone. 

“If you want to sustain happiness over time, past research tells us that we need to take a break from what we’re currently consuming and experience something new. Our research reveals that the kind of thing may matter more than assumed: Repeated giving, even in identical ways to identical others, may continue to feel relatively fresh and relatively pleasurable the more that we do it.” – Psychology researcher Ed O’Brien

There is no doubt that giving is celebrated. You may have been taught the importance of giving by your parents, friends, or extended community as you were growing up. What probably wasn’t modeled (or celebrated) as much as the importance of being able to receive. You may consider yourself a great giver, but if you have a hard time receiving, over time you may develop feelings of resentment, anger, and burnout. Remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup. You need to know how to replenish yourself and have your needs met. Ultimately, the better you are at receiving, the better you become at giving.

 As a bariatric patient, many of us know all too well about pouring from an empty cup. We spent most of our lives hiding behind our weight, being the one who took the pictures so we wouldn’t have to be in the pictures. Most of us are givers, but that sometimes brings a dark struggle.  We give and give and give until there is nothing left in us.  We feel alone, sometimes unloved and that led to food.  It becomes a vicious cycle.  When light shines on us and we are in a position to receive, because of our past, we don’t feel worthy to receive.

Answer these questions in your journal. 

• Will you commit to loving yourself enough to openly receive?
  
  
• List some examples on how you can fill your cup?
  
  
• In what ways will you let go of past struggles so you can see the gift of receiving as a gift of love?