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Many of us are hesitant to ask for help. I know I am. We think we can handle everything by ourselves… or so we think. Maybe we feel embarrassed or ashamed to ask. We think it makes us look weak or incapable. But all of this is untrue.
It might not be easy to ask for help, but it is smart.
Asking for help is a great way to take control of, and responsibility for, your life. There’s certainly no shame in asking for help. In addition, you give someone else the opportunity to feel good by letting them help you.
As weight loss surgery patients, we often want to ask loved ones for help, and they often want to help us, but they do not know how to ask. One way to create an effective support system is to communicate exactly what you feel like you need from family and friends and ask for their support.
You’ve helped a lot of people over the course of your life. Do you think those people had a reason to feel shame because they asked for your help? You were probably happy to help. You even felt good about helping. You can make someone else feel good just by asking for assistance!
There’s no reason to view asking for help as a weak behavior. This is where you communicate your thoughts and needs in a manner that is clearly understood by others. Assertive people are more successful and take responsibility for their lives. You can practice being assertive by asking for help.
Keep in mind that everything is faster with good help. Getting help is a smart move if you value your time. You’re more efficient when you ask for help. Don’t you want to be more efficient? Don’t spend hours pouring over something that could easily take a few minutes with the help of an expert.
You’re not only faster with good help, but you’re also better. No matter what you need help with, there’s someone out there that’s more skilled or talented than you are. It only makes sense to ask for their assistance. Maybe you need help with meal prep and planning or maybe it’s developing an exercise routine. This person doesn’t have to be a paid professional (although that is okay), it could be a friend, family, or a neighbor.
You only need to turn on the news to see how many people need help. It’s not surprising that you need help from time to time, too. Would you turn down someone that sincerely needed your help? Support Groups are a place to find other people, like you, that need help too and can share experiences.
Pride is rarely a good thing. Pride is often just a weak and overly sensitive ego. Be strong and just do it. Pride comes before the fall, so they say. If you think about it, that makes sense.
Visualize asking for help and receiving a positive response. Repeat the process until you can imagine asking for help without a negative emotional response. This is a great habit to build for a variety of situations. With enough mental practice, you can be comfortable doing just about anything.
Give yourself a little practice. Think of something you could use some help with that isn’t an imposition. Ask for a ride to the store. Ask a friend for a dollar. Ask for some advice. Become comfortable with asking for help.
If you really need help, and you just can’t ask, then pay someone to help you. Whether you need help painting your house or need help with a mental health issue, there’s a professional that can help. I’ve worked with many weight loss surgery patients over the years that have experienced weight gain and I realize it’s hard to ask for help. If you have been practicing asking for help it will make it much easier when you really need to.
Copyright © 2020 Bariatric Center for Success
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